By Matthew Temple

19-year-old Harry French from Glasgow was recently crowned Mr Gay UK 2000. With the title comes £5,000, a holiday to Ibiza and the chance to feature in more masturbatory fantasies than Stephen Gately's bottom. In a frank interview, Mr Gay UK 2000 reveals all.

Why did you enter Mr Gay UK?
For a laugh.

Why do you think you won?
Because I slept with the judges. Why do you think?

Did you have to get your dick out?
No need.

Are you well-endowed?
Haven't you seen the photographs?

Did you fancy/ get off with any of the other contestants?
That's for me to know and you to find out.

Do you do drugs?
Only when I have a headache.

Do you have a boyfriend?
Yes and I love him.

Are you going to dump him now you're famous?
If he doesn't get his act together.

Any plans to get off with anyone famous like Stephen Gately at Mardi Gras?
If Stephen loses a bit of weight, maybe.

What are you going to do with the £5,000?
Mind your own business.

What are you going to do over the next 12 months?
As little as possible.

Do you have a political agenda?
No, but I think Section 28 should be scrapped.

What are your career ambitions?
To do sweet F.A. and make loads of dosh.

Do you plan to work with animals and sick children?
No, only sick queens.

You're a nice looking guy. Any beauty tips?
Don't overdo it on the drugs and clubs.

When did you first have sex with a man?
Age 18

Are you a top or a bottom?
Who do you think you are? Michael Barrymore?

You're from Glasgow. Ever eaten a deep-fried Mars bar?
No.

Would you like to have kids?
Only boys over 16 years old.

Do you know what ‘giving it large' means?
Are you referring to my cock? How did you know?

Who would you rather sleep with: Dale Winton or Christopher Biggins?
Both in a threesome and I'd be looking for a fourth untested.

When you're old and bald will the fact you were once Mr Gay UK make you happy or so bitter you'll want to drink yourself to death?
Who said I'd be bald?

What do you think of Ivan Massow?
Who? Can you smoke or inject him?

Mr Gay UK 2000 – the boring bits
Star sign: Cancer
Ideal man: Michael Owen
Boyfriend: Ewan
Favourite book: Anything with horny pics
Motto: Do what you want when you want

By: Matthew Temple

[More from 2000]